The diary of an Average Nige !!

Well I’m home now – the journey is over.

Last couple of days were hectic and tiring. We stayed in a
couple of awful hotels in France, following a journey from
Valladolid, through Pamplona (famous for the bull run
through the streets) and up and over the Pyrenees.
Pamplona was a traditional kind of Spanish town, but there
was an unusually high number of pharmacies in the town –
they must have been every few hundred yards! My dad
suggested that on the day of the bull run, they probably
do a roaring trade, but it did seem like overkill for one
town.

After filling with fuel (at the first ever petrol station
I think I’ve ever been to where someone filled the tank
for me), we went off across the Pyrenees and into France,
Bordeaux to be more precise. The hotel was horrid. The
room was tiny, the TV was miniscule, the sheets were made
of nylon and made me itch horribly. The food wasn’t much
better, and it didn’t help that I had a complete memory
loss when it came to any French words, and I mis-read the
menu in the restaurant, and was led by my dad picking the
soup, which unfortunately turned out to be a fancy
cheese-on-toast. The main course was lamb, or possibly
beef, I’m still not sure, but it was very nice. The
dessert was, however, inedible. I still don’t know what it
was, or what the alternatives were!! I went back to the
room and had an apple or two in an attempt to fill up!
Friday saw us make our last big trek of the holiday up to
the northern province of Normandy. We stayed in the
historic town of Bayeux, which is perhaps more famous for
its tapestry which depicted the Norman conquest of Britain
in 1066. We did go to have a look at it, but after
arriving at the tapestry museum at 5:30, we discovered it
was closing at 5:45 and would have cost us €15 to get in!
We gave it a miss and instead went to find somewhere to
eat!
To hotel room in Bayeux was not any better than the night
before. The blankets on the beds looked like someone had
been sick on them – they were a disgusting colour! The
sheets were again like nylon and the towels were grey and
hard! We were glad to get away the next morning and head
off to Le Havre to find a supermarket (in order for my dad
to stock up on wine), then it was off to the ferry back to
Portsmouth. The crossing was rough, and even I felt ill at
one point (which is very unusual for me to get travel
sick), but we made it to the other side, and following a
high-speed journey home, I made it into my own bed for a
good nights sleep just after midnight.

Overall, it was a great trip and I will take away some
fantastic memories. I don’t think I’ll ever undertake a
journey like it again, but I’m definitely glad I did it –
well worth all the effort.

Ok, well I've completely lost track of what day I'm on now. I've just checked, and it's Thursday today - that must mean I'm in Valladolid in Spain. Ahh, it's all coming back to me now!!
Right, Gibraltar. Well, we left Gib to find the next hotel, which was intriguing as there was nobody at the place when we arrived. Just a few miles out of Gibraltar, we thought this would be a cheap alternative, but it was looking increasingly like we'd be sleeping in the car!! Eventually, after some furious banging on the window, some Spanish bloke appeared from round the back. Speaking as many words of English as I do Spanish (so that's about 5 then!), I eventually got him to understand what we wanted, and he rang through to head office, then showed us to our apartment for the night - which I have to say was really nice and looked like it had never been used before!! The towels were also amazing - if only I'd have had room in my suitcase for one or two!!
That evening we had a quick trip into Gibraltar to go to the English supermarket in the port area - get some proper milk and a cooked chicken - a hearty meal that was going to be!!

Tuesday - We had a late check-out (due to the hotel not opening until 10am). Now it was off round the southern coast of Spain and into Portugal. This was the 12th and final country in our epic voyage. To be honest, Portugal wasn't anything to write home about. Very disappointing actually. It didn't help that it never stopped raining the whole time we were there! The food wasn't brilliant either, despite being very pricey! I think it might be my first and last trip to Lisbon!!

Wednesday - Off to Valladolid, and some serious arguments - mainly down to tiredness I guess. Everything was sorted, and once the hotel was sorted (and the ridiculous cost of internet was paid), we headed for the city centre, which was very beautiful actually - I can recommend Valladolid to anyone who wants to see the real Spain without getting tangled up with the beach-going holidayers. We even had a traditional Spanish meal - a Burger King double cheeseburger and fries, followed by the biggest cream cake you have ever seen!!

Thursday - Today!! And we are going back in to France today, up the west coast. It's the final couple of stops in the journey - we'll soon be home. I'll be glad really, it was too much in too short a time. Should I have known that before? Probably. Would I have still come? Certainly! It's something I had to do sometime in my life. I've done it now (well, nearly) - so that's something else I can tick off, along with ticking off a few countries on my list!!

Well here I am in sunny Gibraltar - well at least it was until it got dark!!
Gees, Gibraltar is a bit of a dump. Ok, some parts are nice, and certainly some of the new buildings they are putting up near the airport anre quite swanky, but other than that ..... its a dump!
We arrived here via an overnight stay in Almeria. Quite a nice apartment which actually turned out to be a timeshare complex. No doubt when I return home, I'll find that my credit card has been charged with £10k, and I'm the proud owner of 2 weeks in a beautiful log cabin in Siberia every second week of January!! Nice!!
Ok, here is a question for you: What on earth posseses people to buy timeshares?? I really don't know - and I can only see the downsides. Please, if you are a fan of timeshares, be sure to let me know in my comments box.
Anyway, back to day 8!
A quick 300 mile trip from Salou found us in a small place that I'd twice visited in recent years with friends. Being mid-october, VillaMartin was actually quite busy, and was nothing like I'd encountered their before in November and February. It wasn't the same place I liked before, so I won't be buying that luxury villa there!!
Next stop was Almeria, after driving past the Skala Club (remember that Dave??). Yes, it's still there, though I'm sure business isn't quite as brisk these days!
Ok, so we stayed in Almeria, and straightaway, Dad decided that now was a good time to do a spot of washing (as there was a mashing machine in the timeshare). Now, me being the expert that I am, volunteered to find out what channels were on the TV, then try and find the nearest place that had the internet! Luckily, as a fail safe, I decided to bring with me on the trip more shirts that there are days, and the same goes for underpants. After I saw my dad trying to dry all his undies using a desk fan! Needless to say that this morning, all the clothes were rock solid!

So, speaking of Rock's, that brings me neatly back to Gibraltar (get it? Rock, Gibraltar?? oh forget it!!). So, after eventually finding our way down to the border (thanks to my TomTom wanting to go one way, and my dad wanting to avoid the 50p tolls!), we then had to queue up for over 30 minutes to get across the border. This is completely normal it would seem, if anything it is quiet today with it being a sunday! I'm glad I didn't get that job in Gibraltar - it would have done my head in trying to cross that, or living in some of the places Gibraltar has to offer! £450,000 for a 2-bedroom apartment?? You've got to be kidding!

Shortly after arriving, we had a taxi excursion up the rock, around the caves and to see the barbery apes. I even got my photo taken with one (an ape, not a cave). Then it was back down to the hotel (which is very nice, and seems like that only decent hotel around these parts!), before a quick walk along Main Street. This, according to my dad, was the best time to walk along Main Street. Why? Because all the shops were shut. The idea is to go up and down getting the best prices, so you can hit the right shops straightaway on Monday morning - this despite the fact I don't actually want to buy anything!! Guess I'll have to show willing now and buy something, even if I don't want it! What can I buy?? What don't I need?? A new Watch? Speakers for my Ipod? I'll find something to buy.

So, after a nice plate of steak and chips, we came back up to the room, and here I am writing my blog. £12 for 12 hours internet - 8 hours of which I'll be asleep!! And installing wireless internet costs hotels practically zero running costs - it's scandalous they charge so much.

Ok, that's all for now. Got another day in Gib, then on Tuesday (Day 11) it's off to Lisbon in Portugal.

Thursday 12th October - Day 6, began with a typical french breakfast of bread and croissants. After checking out, we made our way along the coast through Nice, towards Perpignon and the French/Spanish border. The weather gradually got worse, as we went through the southern part of France, toward the Pyrenees and the Spanish border.
Luckily for me, I handed over to my co-pilot for the particularly treacherous driving conditions we encountered, whilst I played Solitaire on my laptop! That’s the least I deserved having only 8 hours sleep in a week!
Conditions gradually got better, and whilst still cloudy, we made our way into Salou, our “home” for the next 2 days.
I remember Salou as a child, when I went there on only my second foreign holiday back in 1985, so I’d have been 8 at the time. 21 years later, and the place is unrecognisable from the place I visited all those years ago. But the essence of the place is still the same – and reminds me about all that is bad with Spain, and with package holidays. Ok, some people might love how regimented this place is. You queue up for breakfast at 9am. You then have a couple of hours drinking round the pool, or go to one of the various local markets to buy some cheap tat that you can get at home for less (and you’ve no real need or use for it anyway). Then comes the lunch in one of the various British bars in town – egg and chips probably, before returning to the room for an afternoon nap, then another trip into town or maybe the beach, before coming home to get ready for dinner, which was always (and would appear to still be), a big canteen style restaurant, where you can have anything as long as its fish (as it was on the first night), along with some fried potatoes (an alternative to the monotony of chips I guess!).
Maybe all this has haunted me since I was a child, but as I’ve got older, I’ve grown to hate package holidays, from the meals to the whole atmosphere of the place – I imagine it as being not far from that of being in the army – to me that would be my worst nightmare.
I much prefer to go somewhere quiet, where I can go to a busy city and all the bars if I want to, but somewhere where I can relax and see new places and experience different cultures. Half the fun of going abroad is to sample these things and to eat different foods, but it seems that a lot of Brits (and a few other nationalities act the same, I’m sure) only like a place if they serve British food. They want it to be like Britain, only with some sunshine! That’s their heaven. Personally it’s my idea of hell – I go on holiday to get away from Britain, as much as to sometimes go home and better appreciate that what you’ve got at home isn’t actually that bad (apart from the weather!!).

Ok, all that said, I’d better go pick out an outfit for tonight’s meal! We’ll soon be on the road again. Luckily we are staying on Terra-firma today, being that it’s Friday the 13th, but tomorrow morning after breakfast it’s back to braving the Spanish roads, and off down the coast to Almería for one night, before heading to Gibraltar. I’ve been wanting to visit there again for ages, ever since I nearly got a job there at the beginning of the year – so I guess it would be nice to actually see what the place is like! Not that I’ve any intention of wanting to work there now, but never say never. Besides, it’s a haven for cheap fags and cheap electronics, neither of which I need, but somehow I always feel compelled to buy both whilst they are cheap. I don’t even smoke, and I’ve got every conceivable gadget a man could need, but I guess you never know when you might need a spare Ipod!!

Day 5

Day 5 of the trip saw us sadly leave Fawlty Towers in search of the South of France, via Monaco and the Italian city of Turin - so only another 4 countries today!

It started off with a trip through the valleys of the alps - where I filled up with some more Diesel - it was absolutely freezing outside, with an incredibly cold wind - well, we were in the alps!!
The roads up through the alps into Italy were incredible - very twisty and tight - it didn't stop a brand new Ferrari managing to overtake me on a blind bend. Then some woman in a 4x4 Mercedes thought she could do the same, but she didn't bank on diesel power!! For some reason, we kept catching up with the Ferrari, it would cruise along for a while before speeding off. Then, just before the St Bernard tunnel, which is the border between Switzerland and Italy, he pulled over, then re-joined the road straight after me. It then was obvious that he was with the woman in the Mercedes - I'd scuppered their plans!!
After a slow trip through the tunnel (speed limits are strictly enforced in tunnels), we emerged into the light again, and my first time in Italy. I wasn't too impressed with what I saw, but once the Ferrari again blasted past me, the race was on. The woman in the Merc could only just keep up with me (it later turned out to be a 5 litre top of the range model), and obviously hadn't banked on not being able to get past me. We'd go round a few corners and would keep catching up with the Ferrari - no doubt he'd have been a bit pissed off with keep seeing my black BMW in his rear view mirror, rather than his girlfriend!
The race continued all the way down the Alps and onto the Autopista - I even managed to beat her through the toll booths - but she finally overtook me on a two lane carriage way, where the second lane was narrower due to road works. I can tell you from experience in Austria, that the narrow lane is difficult to navigate in a right hand drive car, as you can't tell how far you are to the concrete barriers on your left, and you worry about the 40 tonne trucks on your right!!

So, race over, it was onto Turin. It only took about an hour from the border, then another hour driving round the city trying to find a parking space. The signs to Car Parks are lies - I don't think they exist! So we had to try to find some on street parking. Round and round in circles we went, until at some traffic lights, a guy in a van pulled out in front of me. Just as I was reminstrating with him, my dad pointed out that it was a space he'd pulled out of!! I wasn't so mad with him then!
Turin was surprisingly quite a nice city. Full of beautiful old architecture, and chic fashionable shops, and people! But the traffic is horrendous! Even in the pedestrianised squares, all you can hear is the beeping of horns in the distance.
After a spot of lunch, it was back on the road. Next stop: Monaco.
Once we arrived, we made our way through and down the tight, winding roads from the alps, down to the shoreline. We found our way onto the Grand Prix circuit, which I was amazed that you can go round completely - though not anywhere near as quickly due to the incredibly heavy traffic, and stop signs everywhere - I've never noticed Michael Schumacher having to give way to a bus and a couple of mopeds on his way past the start/finish line!!
So, having completed a full circuit (in about 15 minutes!), we forced our way out of Monaco, and back into France and our lodgings for the evening.

And so ends day 5 - the last time we'd be doing 4 countries in a day!

The Country count currently stands at (including England) 10.

Day 3 - Munich to Lausanne

Well, big day of motoring today, starting off in Munich, followed by a whistle-stop tour of the alpine region of Europe. We sped down the German Autobahns, and after stopping off at a Petrol Station in order to buy a vignette (it’s a cunning way by the Austrians to get you to pay for using their motorways for a 10-day period), then it was off to Innsbruck (twice the host “city” of the Winter Olympics). Well what a dirty, horrible place that was!! I hope the Olympics never visit there again. Having said that, the scenery all the way through Austria was beautiful – and well worth the drive through and the 8 Euro’s for the Vignette, along with another 8 Euro’s to drive through the side of a mountain (the tunnel was over 9 miles long – so not much scenary there!).

After Innsbruck, it was off to one of the smallest countries in the world – Liechtenstein. The capital of Vaduz was actually quite a small place – what you’d only consider a small town in England. But nevertheless, it was quite a beautiful country, not to mention very clean. They even produce their own wine, which I bought a bottle of (odd, being a non-drinker!) – it was the only novelty item I could find!!

Following lunch in Vaduz, and then trying to find somewhere to buy yet another Vignette (the Swiss are even more cunning – making you buy one for the whole year, even if you are only there a day!!). Quickly across the border (about 500 yards from Vaduz!), and we were on our way to Lausanne. Making good progress until the motorway ended and took us into the middle of Zurich, and at rush-hour too! Not pleasant!

Eventually we found our way to our hosts for the night – the small village of Chebres, just outside Lausanne. The hotel (which shall remain nameless) can be best described as being a Swiss version of Fawlty Towers, but without the comedy. The room looks like it’s not been updated since the 1970’s, and I was not happy – until that is, that I opened the balcony door and walked out onto the massive balcony overlooking Lake Geneva and the Alps. Wow, what a view – so that’s what we paid for!!


Day 4 - Holiday Olympics

After having another rough nights sleep, and an “ok” sort of breakfast, it was the first of our rest days and a train trip into Lausanne. After the brief hiccup of getting off the train at the wrong stop and ending up outside the World Headquarters of Nestle, we finally made our way to Lausanne – which is of course the headquarters of the International Olympic Committee.

We had a brief walk up the hill into town (Lausanne is basically built on the side of a mountain!), we did a bit of souvenir shopping, then walked (briskly) down the hill to the lake side, where the Olympic Museum was. Well worth a visit, the museum holds a lot of memorabilia and information regarding the history of the Olympics, and has every single Olympic torch used in the modern Olympics. I’d have taken more photographs of the exhibitions, but I was told off for using my camera by some jumped up employee obviously relishing their little bit of power! Shame on you!!

So then it was back to Fawlty Towers for the evening – it was still standing, which I must say I was reasonably surprised at! Let’s hope I get a good nights sleep tonight, as tomorrow is a very big day – the highlight of the trip for me – Monaco. In theory, I should be able to drive around the circuit used for Formula 1, but obviously not as quick! I can’t wait!! Oh, we’ll also be doing Italy too – but that’s a minor detail!

Well here I am in Munich, after a very long couple of days driving. Yesterday we covered over 500 miles from home, crossing France and Belgium before arriving in Luxembourg mid-afternoon. We even found the hotel, after an hour and a half searching!! So much for Sat-Nav!!

This morning I was woken by the alarm at 7am, so that my dad could watch the Formula 1 race from Japan – that after having about 3 hours sleep all night!!

 

Once we were on our way from Luxembourg, we soon hit the German border and the famous autobahns! Unfortunately, some of the earlier roads did have speed limits, but later on we hit some unrestricted roads and I can tell you that you’ll be left behind if you aren’t doing 100mph! So as the saying goes,  when in Rome……

 

Found the hotel straightaway – very nice place too. Made up for the strange box room we had last night!

 

Should have some photo’s soon. We had a camera related problem in Luxembourg – the city itself was very nice (once we found our way out of the red-light district!), so it’s a shame we couldn’t get any decent pictures (of the city obviously, not the red-light district!).

 

Tomorrow is another long day – starting off in Innsbruck (Austria), then Vaduz (Liechenstein), before arriving in Lausanne (Switzerland). Just a shame we’ll soon be back to speed limits – I’ll have to get used to not sticking my foot right down to the floor!!

 

More soon!

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Ok, here is the itinerary for the grand European Road
Trip. I hope its not going to be in a National Lampoon's
style (now that was a funny film!)

Saturday 7th: UK (Dover), France, Belgium, Luxembourg
Sunday 8th: Luxembourg, Germany (Munich)
Monday 9th: Germany, Liechenstein, Austria, Switzerland
Tuesday 10th: Switzerland (Lausanne)
Wednesday 11th: Switzerland, Italy, France, Monaco
Thursday 12th: Monaco, France, Spain (Salou)
Friday 13th: Spain (Salou)
Saturday 14th: Spain (Malaga)
Sunday 15th: Spain, Gibraltar
Monday 16th: Gibraltar
Tuesday 17th: Gibraltar, Spain, Portugal
Wednesday 18th: Portugal (Lisbon), Spain (Valladolid)
Thursday 19th: Spain, France (Bordeaux)
Friday 20th: France (Bordeaux to Le Havre)
Saturday 21st: France (Normandy), UK (Portsmouth)
Sunday 22nd: Arrive home (around 2am)

I guess on Sunday 22nd, I'll be recovering, as it's back
to work on the Monday.

Well, it's nearly time for the Road Trip! Getting excited now.

My new job is going pretty well now - I'm actually enjoying it - though maybe that's the prospect of only having been there 2 weeks before having 2 weeks holiday! :)

Nothing else to report - so that's all for now (I'm really going to have to think of something more to write!)

Ok, this is my first ever blog. I'm trying to think of something witty to write, but for some reason I can't. Besides, no one will probably ever read it anyhow!!
Still, if anyone does bother to read it - well expect to see my thoughts on here, along with what I'm upto - especially on my upcoming European Road Trip. Yes, that's right - 12 countries, 14 days, 2 men, 1 car, a few credit cards, a fair few arguments, and most importantly of all (apart from the car, obviously) is the laptop - to record my thoughts!
I'll post up the itinerary in a few days - then you can all see where I'll be when (just in case the burgulars are watching!).

Ok, that's all for now. More soon (unless I forget!)

Nige

PS: Thanks to Amy for giving me the idea of starting a blog. You can see hers at:
http://a.swedish.zombie.nu